Haven't you ever had that feeling that you are being used? Especially by someone close to you? Or maybe someone you really care for is over using your generosity? Don't you feel like breaking from it?
First of all to learn how to stay away, first thing one must learn it to know that you are being used. It is one of the most difficult things to do in this world.
Most of the time, the person involved is a person we have a feeling for. Whatever this feeling may be. Romantic, friendly or plain old fashioned sympathetic. Because of such feeling we are blinded and we simply cannot see the fact. We tend to ignore the evidences of the reality. We tend to overlook the bright and clear signs warning us of cheating we are exposed to. We don't see any fault in those people. We in fact we go out beyond reasonable limits of giving them benefit of doubt. Many times we fool ourselves by believing they will learn the lesson and change.
It never happens. They never learn. They always make another sad story and one more after that. They drain your energy in all forms. Financially, emotionally and purely energetically they suck away like parasites. You get hurt but that emotional blinding numbs your senses. You do get pain but you don't register that pain. You ignore it. You neglect it. You simply shrug it off saying that's life.
This doesn't help anyone. Definitely not you nor the person who is cheating you.
I speak from my own experience. This experience has brought me to a point from where, now I can see the pitfall. From this experience I wish to share the knowledge with people and hope that they don't fall in the same trap.
Think clearly on the following points / questions: If this questions give you any insight, work on how would you use the new information to better your own life. As always, I am more than happy to answer to your questions and get some good input to further refine the method of saving our selves from being used.
Do You:
- do it naturally or feel compelled to?
- stretch yourself for being of use/help to other?
- act out of your own free will or you are usually asked to/called upon?
- ever consider your own priorities/limits before shelling out?
- feel obligatory to help?
- do it make yourself feel good?
- help so that you can win over people?
- help because you think you are making a change in their lives?
- really believe it is going to help them?
- ever consider if it is helping you or not?
This list can go on and each person from their individual experience can add and share their experience here with me and others.
I would wait for some response and soon enough I will write my own experience on my experiments with helping others. The amount of losses/gains are for individuals to justify but I will still quantise some so that there is a balanced perspective offered on the issues.
It's not an attempt to make someone look bad or feel bad. It's my own expression. One of those things that has been lingering on my mind for long. Realising that world is indeed a great place, provided one values the self worth.
This is not about stopping to help people. It's about realising that not every one needs help. We ought to weed out those fakes against the genuine. It's a difficult call but trust me friends, it is needed. Many a times it turns out that these people are none other then our own friends, family, people we really care for. But we are taken for granted. We are assumed.
In the end, we suffer. We keep quiet. Good hearted people that we want to be, we never even acknowledge of having make this mistake.
Why we fool ourselves? Isn't that another form of emotional escape we always look for? Probably we help others so that we always remain in demand and surrounded by people. We need this because we are afraid to be alone. Maybe we haven't found ourselves yet. That is why we need an excuse to be needed.
Clarity of thought is one thing that has always escaped us. It is not difficult to achieve. It's just that we don't want to achieve it.
Someday, I am sure, I will have that courage to seek clarity and live life more fulfilling. I am not complaining at my current life and still aspiring for a little bit more so that I can share it with others. I have had a fair amount of my share of hardship, betrayal, pain, sorrow and losses. Now I seek is my fair share of comfort, loyalty, joy, happiness and some achievements.
2007 has brought about a change in my life and it looks good so far. I hope and wish that others too have such breaks coming their way.
Keep watching this blog for some interesting, bizarre but still very resonating words put to noises in our minds.
