Wisdom: cometh by age?

One question that has always been on my mind. Does age really bring wisdom?

I don't know the answer but one thing I have definitely observed is that as one gets older, the need and desperation to have a companion gains a fanatic proportions. This is especially important to observe since the younger generation is also, in more than one way, is desperately trying to find a companion.

So as one grows, should they not become wiser to live with the fact that it is indeed futile to seek that companion? Should one not live with the fact that one who is supposed to be in your life, is already born and soon you will find each other?

Well maybe not. I am sure some armchair intellects will argue with me that unless you seek you won't find. I think, it's waste of time seeking the one.

For a moment, imagine the act of seeking the one. Let's visualise a large stadium, full with people. People on the ground, people in stand and people everywhere. They have gathered to meet the one. The one who is their soul mate, their companion, the One. This is where they will meet them and that is guaranteed. Now when the whistle blows, and all start running around, imagine the chaos it will create. Everyone is running into everyone and colliding, tumbling, tripping over and in reality not reaching anywhere. Eventually out of desperation, settling for whatever they find.

I know it sounds very simplistic and life is much more complex. This very complex nature of life, in fact, makes it the most simple thing to live. At times, in my lectures and trainings, I teach a small prayer to all. “Each day, bring me a surprise and I wills stay surprised for rest of my life. I don't seek perfection in life, I seek innocent joy that a child has. Let each day be the first day of my childhood. May my innocent child like nature remain so that I will never be bored in life.” This prayer is not to anyone else but it is to yourself. Only you can fulfil this wish of yours.

When you look around, half of the relationship actually do turn into marriage. Out which half of them divorce and either marry again or have another relationship. The other half that does not get married, gets separated and start another relationship. Effectively only 25% (approx) of relationship do end up in marriage. Now out of those 25% how many are truly in love with each other?

The point of this bizarre bold argument is the keyword 'Wisdom'. I know the matters of heart are not to be judged by rational of wisdom, so I am told. But what I feel is matter of heart is also a matter of wisdom. Wise is the one who has lived the emotions. Do not confuse intelligence with wisdom. A highly educated university professor could be dumber than an illiterate street urchin.

From what I have observed, the emotional maturity does not necessarily come with ageing nor it comes with education. This emotional maturity is what I call as 'Wisdom'.

Strange enough that in modern times, we have actually lost the meaning of love and affection. Unfortunately the animal sexual urge that one gets is termed as insatiable love. It is just physical/hormonal surge. A chemical reaction in body. I do not say that such feelings should be ignored, what I am saying is this is not it. There is much more beyond this. When people have burnt themselves out, go searching for the 'Connection' and end up having a completely messed up life with multiple complex relationship within absurd social rules and eventually jeopardising lives of one and all.

There are ways of dealing with this but first and most important thing required is openness. Openness encompasses honesty. Honest open mind will then make way for ways of tackling this trivial confusion that occurs in our lives.

Try this, when you really love someone, visualise how you can spend time together. If you end up / start with sex, well then it's not true love. It's just another fantasy. On the other hand, you can see everything else but sex, you truly love this person. You can see yourself together watching a nice film , looking at beautiful sunset, travelling in a crowded train, shopping, laughing, going to carnival, fair, circus, trekking, dancing, visiting each others families and everything small and silly. Probably even hugging each other and gentle speck on the cheek. Nothing beyond that. When you visual this, normally, naturally, you are indeed in love with the person. The first sign of love is respect and not lust.

The day more people will understand this, the world will have more wise people and then will previal joy and happiness on this planet.

Do comment.