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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Elders taught me so. - III

One can't give what one doesn't have.

John was stressed. He tries many things prescribed to him to break from the stress and he still could not.

One day, casually chatting over a drink in the evening, I asked him "What is it John that stresses you out so much?"

"I don't know" he said.

I asked him, "Is it the job?"
He said, "No"
"Friends?"
"No"
"Family?"
"No"
"Children?"
"No"

"Then what is it John?"
"I don't know" he replied with honesty, "I really don't know."

"John, tell me one thing. Are you afraid of something?" He thinks for a while, finishing his remaining drink, pointing for another one. Head tucked down, eyes closed. When the next drink arrived, he raised his head, one sip and with some shiver in his voice he started "You know what? I am, in reality afraid. I am afraid of failing. I am afraid of not being able to stand by my little family. I am afraid I will not be able to give what I want, to my wife, to my kids to my friends."

He went on, "I am afraid that one day, I will not be able to give that security, that happiness and that love to them." He stopped. I could see the shimmer of tears in his eyes. Tears he held back but fear was pouring out from all over.

It was the fear that caused the stress in his life. This stress was affecting his peace of mind and hence adversely affecting his work, his relationship and his stable family.

This is very typical of the society that we live in. From the genuine love and affection for ones own family and friends, the fear of failure rises and before even you know, it manifests into reality. Fear brings weakness. Weakness brings failure. Weakness means defeat before even giving a fight.

Solution is simple. Once again, ask yourself, what is it that you are afraid of? Afraid of, being a failure to your family? Failing in what? Failing in giving them happiness and love?
Well you can't give that if you don't have it yourself in the first place. Fear will take all that away from you. You will be left with no peace, no love and no happiness. Then how will you be able to give it to you family?

Remember you are made of your family. On your own you are nothing. So instead of trying to make them happy, make yourself happy first and this will automatically bring them happiness. Since you are made of them, whatever else makes you, will benefit also benefit from what you do to yourself. You choose to suffer, they will suffer too. You choose to be happy, they will be happy too. Don't ignore the most important thing in your life. 'You' are the most important thing your life.

Do this exercise: Every morning when you wake up, before jumping off your bed, put your hands on your eyes, say to yourself, "Today I choose to be happy. So let me be happy and this way all that makes me, will be happy too." Take a deep breath and slowly open your eyes, step off and begin your day.

Let me know what you experience.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Elders taught me so. -II

Feel with your heart and Think with you mind

I find it strange when people say 'I LOVE so and so person' when they really mean to say is I like/respect/adore/envy/infatuate/would like have sex etc with the other person. That is feeling with mind.

Mind does not feel, it can only think. Thinking is when data (experience of past) is analysed and conclusions derived.

Heart does not think, it can only feel. Feeling is experiencing the moment and not analysing it.

When a feeling is experienced, it is stored in the memory bank of your mind. Most of the time, the good feelings are stored way down in the bottom where as the bad ones are always kept at arms reach.

Have you felt those strange moments when you see a complete stranger and you have this sudden urge to go and hug them or wish that they looked at you and smiled. Similarly some strangers will make you feel like going over and slapping them. This is nothing else, but pure feelings of the heart. It does not come from experience or past. It just is the moment.

It's end of the month and you are running low on your cash. Credit card has been already swiped beyond its limit. Walking past a showroom, you see a beautiful object. You immediately love to have this object. How beautiful that feeling is of simply adoring that stuff in the showroom. Keep it that way, don't let the heart rule. Use your mind. Think about the last time you had to borrow money to pay credit card and you were broke on your pay day simply trying to pay all the bills out. Now that's what is called feeling with your heart and thinking with your mind.

When you say "I Love You", let it come from your heart. Let there be no attachment to the statement. When someone else says "I Love You", accept it as it is. Don't let your mind interfere by interpreting the message. Don't expect anything either way. Just feel it. Feel that divine eternal light glowing from hearts of people who share the sound of “I Love You”.

How can you do that?

Here is another small exercise for those who are interested.

Sit in front of a clear mirror. I mean sit and not stand. Enough light in the room so that you can see yourself clearly. Look at your own face for a while. Stare, gaze, and see the beauty that you radiate. Say to your self "I Love You". See how you feel. Do this mindlessly. Trust me, sooner than later you will feel that radiant energy rushing through your body. Life is beautiful. Welcome to this wonderful world of true freedom.

As always, comments are welcome. Remember, honest comments will get a response no false praises please.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Elders taught me so.

Want to sleep like a King tomorrow? Sleep like a King tonight!

I have asked so many times, “What do you want?”

The answers I received were:
  • Happiness
  • Inner peace
  • Joy
  • Satisfaction
  • Health
  • Love
  • Compassion
  • Love of others
  • Respect
  • Enlightenment
  • Wisdom
  • Will power
  • Focus

… And so on.

My answer to all of them is the first sentence. Wan to live like a King tomorrow? Sleep like a King tonight. You don’t need to find that outside. It’s within. Today you are what you wished to be yesterday. Tomorrow will be what you sleep like tonight.

Tonight you sleep, with faith in your own self, with the wisdom you desire and you will see you wake up with it. Whilst you are sleeping, you mind will dig out that information for you. Its there inside somewhere and this stands true for everything.

It’s not a matter of finding the right answers. It’s the matter of finding right questions. We have the answers but we don’t know the questions.

Seek answers within and not without.

Here is a little exercise for those interested to experience the overnight phenomenon. When go to bed and are ready and relaxed to finally sleep into the dream world. Knock your head three times gently on pillow where you rest your head. Ask a question or offer a situation that you need an insight into. Knock your head three times gently again on the pillow and go to sleep.

When you wake up, don’t ask me how, but you will most likely have the answer. If not direct, there will be clues for you to understand. Either in form of dream, some vision or plain good old bright spark flashing across you mind. Intuition, inspiration, an ad in the newspaper, comments by people around you, something will flash the answer to you.
Those of you who do this please do share the experience. Remember I am not fishing compliments. I am hunting criticism.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

In addition of the previous article

“Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.” - GM Trevelyan

What the worth if the system is unable to produce thinkers. What we have indeed is lot which can read and write but unable to think.

Not only think but even the sensitivity is taken out of these poor creatures. They are the perfect example of what I can call as zombie.

They have no true aspirations, no true desires, no anger, no love but only fear and numbness. They are too numb to even register the pain of this slavery.

This so called modern life is academic, regimental, religious, boring; that’s what I will call it. As I have mentioned several times, we suffer from too much of incomplete information. No one tells you the complete story. No one either knows the complete story or is purposely hiding half of it.

Our so called education has made everything so mechanical. Indeed it is sad to see that there are lessons available for us to know how to be parents. There are lessons on how to be a good husband and wife. There are lessons on teen age parenting. There are handbooks/manuals/instructions for everything. But except there is no handbook/manual/instruction on how to be free and happy.

I won’t be surprised if we start seeing money back guarantying churches that would offer instant forgiveness. We will have vending machines selling good karma. We will see ads for toll free number to talk to GOD directly. Super luxury 3 nights 4 days package tour of heave, with spiritual meals included and with a devine welcome drink. For some extra amount even a photo opportunity with GOD.

Well I think everyone knows whatever I am saying. Like me many others have pointed out the flaws. Still no one has attempted to answer the questions or show a solution to this situation. When so many out there whining about it, why should I add to it?

So maybe from next topic onwards I will post what I feel would work to at least elevate if not remove the problems. Hopefully, I would make sense in my silly humble attempt at displaying ignorant wisdom.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

How True this is!

I happen to read this quote of the day today and thought I did share this bit with you.

“I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.” - John Cage

I really like these smart quotes. They say a lot in just a small sentence. Whereas, I have seen people with logorrhea effectively making no sense.

Somewhere one needs to understand that ‘old’ here refers to rudimentary ideas and not traditional values or knowledge of the ancient civilisation.

I have some points to show the comparison:

Old: A man never cries
New: It’s perfectly ok for a man to cry.

Old: Cooking is for girls
New: Boys can cook too

Old: Woman’s place is at home, cooking and taking care of children
New: Well it can be the other way around and still better it’s a joint responsibility

Old: Man can do whatever he wants
New: So can women too

Old: Confess and your sins will be pardoned
New: Why sin in the first place

Old: Homo sexuality is a disease
New: Whatever, its real and lets accept it

Old: A boy must take the first step in proposing
New: Come girls don’t be shy, you can do it too

Old: One must visit church, temple, mosque or whatever
New: You heart is where GOD lives, no need to go no where

Old: Educate, Graduate, be a responsible citizen
New: Doesn’t matter, as long as you take the responsibility for being a good citizen

Old: Hide your emotions; they are sings of your weakness
New: Go ahead, confess that you love someone

Old: Respect the elders
New: Yes indeed one must, but why only elders, why not all human beings

Old: Do something so good that when you are gone world remembers you
New: Don’t bother, just do good things and aspire to die unknown

Old: USA is saving the world
New: Actually it is ruining it

Old: Never quit till you die
New: Hey, save your head, you will have another chance to put a hat on

And I can go on with many such silly notions that still prevail in the year 2005. It makes me wonder if the world as a society has really progressed. We still have famine and poverty. There hundreds and thousands of people dying for no natural reasons. The old idea of control and empire has failed and we are still living the same. The modern kingdom is in form of multi billion dollar corporations and big countries like USA. They have very interesting ideas like WTO, Global village etc. They we also have their cousins, extreme opposite radicals like the Green Peace. I can understand the green part of it but I don’t see peace anywhere.

Once I witnessed the rally put up to demonstrate against G8 summit in Australia. Or it could have been some similar summit with so many international dignitaries attending the conference. The protesters were screaming, shouting, showing placards and making a huge hum drum about it. I was there. I was watching. I spent time on the sides observing the protesters. I was amazed from where did they get that energy? Not for long. As I walked over to nearby 7/11 shop to buy a drink and pack of smoke, I saw a few of the protesters there buying their own stocks. Stock of Red Bull energy drink!! This led me to investigate a little.

I came back that night and started talking with some protesters who were taking a break. Offered them some sandwiches and cigarettes and started talking about it. Many of them were high on one or the other mind altering substance like cannabis or ecstasy. I praised their efforts and expressed how much I admired their courage. They could not take this praise longer. Looking around making sure no one is hearing us, they confessed, the entire thing was not genuine. Many, not all, but many of the protesters there were paid to be there. Paid? I asked them who paid this and no one had a clue but they were all members of some labour union which sent them to protest around Australia and also paid them some money.

More I asked more I was convinced that it’s not exactly all that meets your eyes is what is actually happening.

This is where I am saying we are still living in the old ways. The ways of expanding kingdoms and controlling masses by any which way one can. Is there true freedom anywhere? Perhaps not. Perhaps there is, but we haven’t found it.

Tragedy is no one is even looking for it. Someone told me how can they look for something they haven’t known yet. With a deep sigh I realised how true this person was. How can we find that true freedom when we haven’t experienced it. Then again I feel we were born free but got conditioned by the old ways. That is why, maybe, we are afraid of new ideas.

Well whatever, do send your comments.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Why does it hurt?

When you see someone you like / love so much, having fun with someone else, why does it ache your heart?

Honestly it should not ache your heart. You should not feel hurt. Still, you do, why?

I have tried to understand this emotion and feel that it comes from fear. False fear of loosing someone.

I always said and believe that there is only one love and that is true love. This true love is universal and elevating. It heals people’s heart and minds. It powerful enough move mountains and make way in the sea. “Love” is the only thing that makes us different from Animals.

And still I see when people love, they suffer. What happened to that true compassion and warmth of a loving heart? Where is that drop of tear in mother’s eyes when she sees her baby walk first time? Why the jealousy rules when you see your loved one having good time with someone else?

Interesting, the word love is used to connote sex. Maybe that’s when the true meaning of love was lost. Then simply to hang on to it, humans invented various flavours of love. Platonic love, parental love, fatherly love, motherly love and many such became commonplace terminology.

Once I was asked a question that if I got married, how many children would I like to have. My answer was minimum 6 but if possible 8. Now don’t roll your eyes. I don’t intend to produce more off springs into this world. My idea was to adopt children from around the world. Not to have biological children was my decision then and is my decision now. In those younger days, I was laughed at and ridiculed by friends of same age. In fact I was labelled as someone who does not understand love and relationship.

Today, as I look around, those who laughed at me then are wondering where is all that freedom and joy? The same daily battle for survival has taken away the some of the most essential things in life including love. They are so cold now and in fact are so afraid of love.

I don’t know what happened to those good old days when a genuine warm loving hug from a friend was always so reassuring. Instead we have this cold hellos and brief hand shakes.

Maybe someday, someone will bring that love back into humanity. A love which has no fear, no pain, no possessiveness and no jealousy. Hope to see that before my time runs out.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Feeling the pressure of a crowded place?

Well it is a sign of utter loneliness. Either self inflicted or being discarded by society. It is after all loneliness.

Where does this come from? One popular belief is “fear of being hurt (again)” where another one says “being hurt several time”. Both of them actually come from the same stem that is, being “hurt” by “others”. I feel its very true in its concept of “hurt” “fear” “other” but I feel the orientation or rather the flow of fear is somewhat incorrect.

Consider the following case:

An ordinary person, good hearted, well mannered, sensitive, honest and caring does not have any social life or friends.

One would think why is this good soul is all alone? Old school orthodox would say, he/she has had a lot of “hurt” from “others” in past and hence prefers not to be close to anyone. However, still going about doing good to others. I would agree only if the person had NOT been a loner too at the same time. A cold unapproachable, non-socialising, cut chop and finish conversationalist type of person will definitely suite the conventional argument of being “hurt” by “others” in past.

But I add a twist here. A person is very sociable and very approachable with ability to have long conversations and also add some muses to bring about nice lightness. Person has a rather a very warm welcoming smile. Why still he/she is still alone?

I would say because they are so hyper sensitive, that the very fear that they may “hurt” “other” stops them from socialising. It comes from deep abundant love for the “other” that stops them from connecting to other for a simple fear of “hurting” “other”. Here the “other” could be substituted with partner, soul mate, friend, family, husband, wife, parents, children and almost any other living human being.

I find it really interesting to see this behaviour in people who really love someone else. Usually the intensity of love drives them to do some aggressive things. But to avoid any connection, even slightest of remote connection, does not make sense. I have seen such people find absolute peace in extremely crowded places but when they are in solitude place or are by themselves, they feel extremely stressed as if they were in crowded place.

In an honest request I wish I could talk to someone who finds it true in their life. Maybe I can get an insight into this profoundly loving heart and maybe I can explore their fears in an attempt to let them out once and for all. This way at least the beautiful soul will live to the fullest potential.


PS: Sorry friends this time the article is sort of not well organised.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

This is my prayer to thee, my lord

This is my prayer to thee, my lord -
strike, strike at the root of penury in my heart.

Give me the strength lightly to bear my joys and sorrows.

Give me the strength to make my love fruitful in service.

Give me the strength never to disown the poor or bend my knees before insolent might.

Give me the strength to raise my mind high above daily trifles.

And give me the strength to surrender my strength to thy will with love.

GITANJALI, XXX VI 4
Rabindranath Tagore