Three Monkey Syndrome

In my younger days, I was taught the lessons learnt from the famous 'three monkeys'. I always wondered, how come we have to learn from monkeys? Aren't we supposed to be more intelligent than them?

Well never challenged the authority and still I don't. I have realised that it's better to find your own simpler ways of understanding life rather then conforming or confronting the established belief system.

In modern times I see people suffering from something that always took me long to explain. By the time the explanation was over, listeners and readers would loose interest.

Last night, I had inspiration that gave me the following interpretation of the three monkeys in modern times. Rather then they representing wisdom, they represent the lack of it. They still remain the wise monkeys but by mocking what we are doing, these monkeys are reflecting our mistakes and the pain that we suffer from that. So here is the new interpretation:

Original :

The monkey with mouth covered: Speak no Evil

The monkey with ears covered: Hear no Evil

The monkey with eyes covered: See no Evil

My Version:

First of all I call it as the "Three Monkey Syndrome". All those who are suffering can be labelled as suffering this three monkey syndrome:

The monkey with mouth covered: I won't express my true feelings

The monkey with ears covered: I won't listen to the message from Universe

The monkey with eyes covered: I won't see the reality

Well this inspiration is pretty new and I guess I will need to refine it further more. Till then, hope you enjoy this different interpretation of three monkeys and maybe contribute towards refining it and making it more contemporary.

Are you being used/abused?

Haven't you ever had that feeling that you are being used? Especially by someone close to you? Or maybe someone you really care for is over using your generosity? Don't you feel like breaking from it?

First of all to learn how to stay away, first thing one must learn it to know that you are being used. It is one of the most difficult things to do in this world.

Most of the time, the person involved is a person we have a feeling for. Whatever this feeling may be. Romantic, friendly or plain old fashioned sympathetic. Because of such feeling we are blinded and we simply cannot see the fact. We tend to ignore the evidences of the reality. We tend to overlook the bright and clear signs warning us of cheating we are exposed to. We don't see any fault in those people. We in fact we go out beyond reasonable limits of giving them benefit of doubt. Many times we fool ourselves by believing they will learn the lesson and change.

It never happens. They never learn. They always make another sad story and one more after that. They drain your energy in all forms. Financially, emotionally and purely energetically they suck away like parasites. You get hurt but that emotional blinding numbs your senses. You do get pain but you don't register that pain. You ignore it. You neglect it. You simply shrug it off saying that's life.

This doesn't help anyone. Definitely not you nor the person who is cheating you.

I speak from my own experience. This experience has brought me to a point from where, now I can see the pitfall. From this experience I wish to share the knowledge with people and hope that they don't fall in the same trap.

Think clearly on the following points / questions: If this questions give you any insight, work on how would you use the new information to better your own life. As always, I am more than happy to answer to your questions and get some good input to further refine the method of saving our selves from being used.

Do You:

• do it naturally or feel compelled to?
• stretch yourself for being of use/help to other?
• act out of your own free will or you are usually asked to/called upon?
• ever consider your own priorities/limits before shelling out?
• feel obligatory to help?
• do it make yourself feel good?
• help so that you can win over people?
• help because you think you are making a change in their lives?
• really believe it is going to help them?
• ever consider if it is helping you or not?

This list can go on and each person from their individual experience can add and share their experience here with me and others.

I would wait for some response and soon enough I will write my own experience on my experiments with helping others. The amount of losses/gains are for individuals to justify but I will still quantise some so that there is a balanced perspective offered on the issues.

It's not an attempt to make someone look bad or feel bad. It's my own expression. One of those things that has been lingering on my mind for long. Realising that world is indeed a great place, provided one values the self worth.

This is not about stopping to help people. It's about realising that not every one needs help. We ought to weed out those fakes against the genuine. It's a difficult call but trust me friends, it is needed. Many a times it turns out that these people are none other then our own friends, family, people we really care for. But we are taken for granted. We are assumed.

In the end, we suffer. We keep quiet. Good hearted people that we want to be, we never even acknowledge of having make this mistake.

Why we fool ourselves? Isn't that another form of emotional escape we always look for? Probably we help others so that we always remain in demand and surrounded by people. We need this because we are afraid to be alone. Maybe we haven't found ourselves yet. That is why we need an excuse to be needed.

Clarity of thought is one thing that has always escaped us. It is not difficult to achieve. It's just that we don't want to achieve it.

Someday, I am sure, I will have that courage to seek clarity and live life more fulfilling. I am not complaining at my current life and still aspiring for a little bit more so that I can share it with others. I have had a fair amount of my share of hardship, betrayal, pain, sorrow and losses. Now I seek is my fair share of comfort, loyalty, joy, happiness and some achievements.

2007 has brought about a change in my life and it looks good so far. I hope and wish that others too have such breaks coming their way.

Keep watching this blog for some interesting, bizarre but still very resonating words put to noises in our minds.

Secret of a good week end.

Some closeness brings the warm feelings and these feelings are usually confusing. Why is that we always make mistake in understanding what is love? Why do we always try to fathom this infinite universal phenomenon that’s called Love? Why do we want to understand it? Why can’t be just simply live with it? Why do we need to do certain things or act in a certain way because are supposed to be “IN” love?

I have seen those who fall in love, injure themselves. That’s exactly is my argument that one should not “fall” in love. Love is elevating. Love is exhilarating. Love is universal and it is so powerful that it can not harm anyone. What love is it that breaks people’s heart? What love is it that in name of God, thy shall kill a fellow human.

I have seen the spin in the eyes of so called friends when they said they love me but what they really meant was they want to take things from me. My money, my peace of mind, my ideas, my honesty and finally leave me with their stress and difficulties. What good is this love?

Seeing the sheer abuse of the word “love”, I really get annoyed, paranoid, scared or whatever, when someone say they love me. I don’t see even a genuine affection exist any more.

Where is all that gone? Or I am just being naively antique in my expectations? Who knows? Can anyone, can throw some light on this?

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

From all these sadness, there is only one way out. Chant the following Shloka and thy shall find bliss!!!

"Gurur RUM aa, Guru Whisky , Guru vodka , Gin-e-shwara.

Gurur Sakshat Peg Brahma , Tasmai shree Beer-e Namaha."

Bhagwan aapko iss weekend bhi tunnn rakkhhe.

"Cheeeeerrrrsss"

Wisdom: cometh by age?

One question that has always been on my mind. Does age really bring wisdom?

I don't know the answer but one thing I have definitely observed is that as one gets older, the need and desperation to have a companion gains a fanatic proportions. This is especially important to observe since the younger generation is also, in more than one way, is desperately trying to find a companion.

So as one grows, should they not become wiser to live with the fact that it is indeed futile to seek that companion? Should one not live with the fact that one who is supposed to be in your life, is already born and soon you will find each other?

Well maybe not. I am sure some armchair intellects will argue with me that unless you seek you won't find. I think, it's waste of time seeking the one.

For a moment, imagine the act of seeking the one. Let's visualise a large stadium, full with people. People on the ground, people in stand and people everywhere. They have gathered to meet the one. The one who is their soul mate, their companion, the One. This is where they will meet them and that is guaranteed. Now when the whistle blows, and all start running around, imagine the chaos it will create. Everyone is running into everyone and colliding, tumbling, tripping over and in reality not reaching anywhere. Eventually out of desperation, settling for whatever they find.

I know it sounds very simplistic and life is much more complex. This very complex nature of life, in fact, makes it the most simple thing to live. At times, in my lectures and trainings, I teach a small prayer to all. “Each day, bring me a surprise and I wills stay surprised for rest of my life. I don't seek perfection in life, I seek innocent joy that a child has. Let each day be the first day of my childhood. May my innocent child like nature remain so that I will never be bored in life.” This prayer is not to anyone else but it is to yourself. Only you can fulfil this wish of yours.

When you look around, half of the relationship actually do turn into marriage. Out which half of them divorce and either marry again or have another relationship. The other half that does not get married, gets separated and start another relationship. Effectively only 25% (approx) of relationship do end up in marriage. Now out of those 25% how many are truly in love with each other?

The point of this bizarre bold argument is the keyword 'Wisdom'. I know the matters of heart are not to be judged by rational of wisdom, so I am told. But what I feel is matter of heart is also a matter of wisdom. Wise is the one who has lived the emotions. Do not confuse intelligence with wisdom. A highly educated university professor could be dumber than an illiterate street urchin.

From what I have observed, the emotional maturity does not necessarily come with ageing nor it comes with education. This emotional maturity is what I call as 'Wisdom'.

Strange enough that in modern times, we have actually lost the meaning of love and affection. Unfortunately the animal sexual urge that one gets is termed as insatiable love. It is just physical/hormonal surge. A chemical reaction in body. I do not say that such feelings should be ignored, what I am saying is this is not it. There is much more beyond this. When people have burnt themselves out, go searching for the 'Connection' and end up having a completely messed up life with multiple complex relationship within absurd social rules and eventually jeopardising lives of one and all.

There are ways of dealing with this but first and most important thing required is openness. Openness encompasses honesty. Honest open mind will then make way for ways of tackling this trivial confusion that occurs in our lives.

Try this, when you really love someone, visualise how you can spend time together. If you end up / start with sex, well then it's not true love. It's just another fantasy. On the other hand, you can see everything else but sex, you truly love this person. You can see yourself together watching a nice film , looking at beautiful sunset, travelling in a crowded train, shopping, laughing, going to carnival, fair, circus, trekking, dancing, visiting each others families and everything small and silly. Probably even hugging each other and gentle speck on the cheek. Nothing beyond that. When you visual this, normally, naturally, you are indeed in love with the person. The first sign of love is respect and not lust.

The day more people will understand this, the world will have more wise people and then will previal joy and happiness on this planet.

Do comment.

Tell me what

Story of a restaurant

It all happened over in an hour.

Incidentally 4 people ordered the same salad. All of them were not served with condiments or accessories to make dressing for the salad. Following was their reaction when the salad was delivered:

1. They refused to accept the salad and refused to pay for it
   
2. They came to kitchen with the salad asking for where was dressing
3. They ate the salad but with a lot of complaining
4. They simply refused to eat salad and paid for it

There was me, knowing the staff was busy, simply picked up the condiments basket and made my dressing.

What do you make of this?

Let me know.

Cheers !!